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Marriage Jokes: share on facebook and twitter | TiKAG

Marriage

विवाह क्या है ?

विवाह एक ऐसा गठबंधन है -
जिसमें दो व्यक्ति मिलकर उन
समस्याओं को सुलझाने का
जीवन भर प्रयास करते है , जो पहले कभी थी ही नही.!!

खाना खाने बैठे पति ने पत्नि को आवाज लगाई - 
"अरी सुनती हो...भाग्यवान...! ये जो तुमने सब्जी बनाई है इसे क्या कहते हैं ?? "

पत्नि :- " क्यों किसलिये पूछ रहे हो ? " laugh

पति :- " अरे भाई मुझसे भी तो स्वर्ग में पूछा जायेगा...........
क्या खा के मरे थे !!

पत्नी ने प्लाजो की जिद की।

पति ने अपने ही पिताजी का 36 इंच मोहरी का पायजामा रंगवा कर दे दिया।

पत्नी खुशी जाहिर करते हुए नहीं थक रही।

पिताजी पाजामा ढूंढते नहीं थक रहे।

सास-मुझे पूरा भरोसा है तुम किचिन सम्भाल लोगी

बहु किचिन में गई कुछ टूटने की ज़ोरदार आवाज़ आई

सास- क्या तोड़ दिया

बहु- भरोसा

शादी के दो महीने 
बाद ही सास-बहू की लड़ाई हो गई। 

बाप बेटा दोनों ये 
झगड़ा देख रहे थे तभी बेटा बोला - 

पापा आप मां को समझाओ,  
मेरी पत्नी से झगड़ा ना किया करे। 

बाप आखिर बाप होता है बोला - 

देख बेटा तेरी इस दो महीने की 
#आशिकी के खातिर, 
मुझसे मेरी तीस साल की #मोहब्बत का गला 
नही घोंटा जायेगा !! 

मौलवी: "किसी को इस शादी से
ऐतराज़
है ??
एक आवाज़ आई "हां मुझे है"
मौलवी - यार तुम चुप रहो,
तुम दूल्हे हो,
तुम्हे तो जिंदगी भर ऐतराज़ रहेगा

A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband's temper.

The doctor asks, "What's the problem?"

The woman says, "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."

The doctor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."

Two weeks later, the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The woman says, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"

The doctor says, "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."

Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda for a few hours and relax.

"In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis...

"When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again."

The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife.

She asked, "What's his wife's name?" Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."