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Santa Banta Jokes: share on facebook and twitter | TiKAG

Santa Banta

santa:-yaar mera kutta kho gaya hai. Main kya karu?
Banta:abe tu paper me kyo nahi de deta ki tera kutta kho gaya.
Santa: chup kar sale mera kutta pada likha nahi hai.

5 saal ka Kida: I Love You Mummy. 
Maa: I love you too Beta. 
16 saal ka ladaka: I Love You Mummy. 
Maa: Sorry beta, paise nahin hain! 
25 saal ka ladka: I Love You Mom. 
Maa: kaun hai vo chudail ? kahaan rahati hai? 
35 saal ka aadami: I Love You Mummy. 
maan: beta mainne pahale hi bola tha, us ladki se shaadi mat karana! 
aur sabase badhiya.. 
55 saal ka aadami: I Love You Mummy. 
maan: beta, main kisi bhi kaagaz par "Sign nahin karoongi"

1 Ladki ki shaadi se 3 din pahle uski
saheli ne poochha: shaadi ki saari
Taiyaariyaan kar li kya?
Ladki: Haan donon sim naale mein phenk diya,
Mobile Phone to Format kar diya hai,
Laptop mai Private Folder Delete Kar diya 
Facebook, Whatsapp bhi Deactivate kar diya hai,
bas too apana munh band rakhiyo.
girls marriage preparation interesting jokes

Santa is searching a job and this time he is very serious - no jokes or comedy plz...
Interviewer: Why should we hire you?
Santa: Because I have passion.
Interviewer: Show me. 
Santa: Sir, Chalo Bahar, Parking Mein Khadi Hai!

Shikhak- Itane din se kahaan the?
Santa- Sir, Bird FLU ho gaya tha.
Shikhak- par ye to bird mein hota hai insaanon mein nahi.
Santa- Insaan samajha hi kahaan aapane ...
Roj to Murga bana dete ho.....santa bird flu jokes

Santa (Police station ja kar bola): - mujhe
phone par dhamaki mil rahi hai.
-
-
-
Inspector: kaun de raha hai?
-
-
-
Santa - BSNL vaale. kahate hain, Bill nahin bhara to "kaat" denge.

Happy Singh calls on customer care.
Happy: Hello(+_+)
Executive: Ji Main Aarti Bol Rahi Hun.
Happy: Aarti Baad Mein Sunana Pehle, Meri Problem Toh resolve Kar Do!
Executive: Sir mai appka call Puja ko forward kar rahi hu
Happy: Gussa mai call disconnnect kar diya aur bola oye Madam...
Puja to mai hargij nahi karuga

Raat ke 2 baje santa ke number par phone 
aaya - Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya? 
Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas 
hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?

Santa fed up with the new boss.
One day he told the boss to play "Blue Whale Challenge", is an Internet "game".
Boss played and Finished...
Now Santa enjoying office life- Dating Boss's gorgeous Secretary.

बंता: तुम्हारी सबसे बड़ी ताकत क्या है?

संता: मेरी पत्नी!

बंता: तुम्हारी सबसे बड़ी कमजोरी क्या है?

संता: दूसरों की पत्नी!

Santa Ne God Se Pucha
:
Kya Mai Agle Janam Me
Gadha Ban Sakta Hu.?

God Ne Jawab Diya
:
aap iss suvidha ka labh pehle hi le chuke hai. 

There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child.

One person told the boy that he would if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.

A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked.

Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what's inside the drum?"